Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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