My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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