she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
