i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
