i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
