Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
