I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize