Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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