You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize