I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
