If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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