Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
