gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
