Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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