why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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