part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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