We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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