doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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