Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So much rum. So many feels.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
