i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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