I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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