Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize