I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize