guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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