so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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