i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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