there's paper in my vomit.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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