i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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