I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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