And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
