Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
