i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
