the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
