Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
