Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is the high leading the old right now
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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