Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
