You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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