I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
