her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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