how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
