You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
only you would photoshop your dick
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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