after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
