Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
