Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
