One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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