So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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