I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize