so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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