im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
