i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
