he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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