I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize