gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
