Dude my mom stole all your condoms
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
