FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
