he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
