Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I love having hate sex.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
